What to Do When You Get Conflicting Advice
The other day I was on the phone with my sister. She wants to move to Colorado. She’s genuinely ready to do it but she had some apprehensions. I could hear the concern in her voice as we spoke.
“Some people on this forum I posted on said that my idea to move to Colorado is totally unrealistic.”
Grrr. Pissed off. After I got a few KEYBOARD WARRIOR type comments off my chest, I calmed down and asked her to explain.
She had posted her intentions to move on a forum and gotten some negative feedback. The people in the forum did not think it was possible for her to realistically move across the country, find an apartment to rent, and find a job. She believed what they said and was actually pretty worried about it.
We worked through the things that were concerning her and put her mind at ease. Afterwards, we started talking about the bigger picture of what goes on when you decide to do something new like she has.
We decide to make a change.
Then, we seek help from “out there”- books, forums, websites, other people, etc.
With the internet, the amount of and accessibility of “out there” has greatly increased.
What I realized, is that, “out there”, just about every possible opinion exists.
There will be one guy who says to eat walnuts before bed to get better sleep, another who says walnuts are toxic to the body, and a third guy who hasn’t even heard of them. LOL. What an advice panel.
So, with all the competing opinions to choose from, how do you make sense of it all?
It depends on what you’re trying to accomplish. I classify goals into two categories: artistic/creative, and scientific.
This article is about the creative stuff, such as designing your life. But first, let me quickly address the scientific.
If what you are trying to accomplish is more scientific, like eating healthier, then use science to make that decision. There’s so much stuff online about health, so many competing opinions on what you should and shouldn’t EAT. I used to author a health blog, and I wrote stuff on there that wasn’t scientifically correct. It was opinion-based. In this area, use scientific studies to determine what works and doesn’t, NOT opinions. This is true when it comes to things like exercise, weight loss, and money management as well. There really is a scientific formula to accomplish these more tangible goals.
Here are some examples of the more artistic, creative, and intangible goals:
* Manage time better
* Improve relationships
* Work within passions
* Create a more ideal lifestyle
* Gain back control of time
For these more intangible goals, there’s not a clear formula to use. You have to talk through it, experiment, make decisions, rinse, and repeat. This is why, when you go to a therapist, they don’t use a formula to fix your problems.
So, when it comes to these goals, how do you find your “guiding light”? How do you sort through all of the BS and get some answers?
Find people you admire, and ask for help.
People you admire are much less likely to be naysayers when you reveal your intentions, because they have already done what it is you are wanting to do. They believe it’s possible because they’ve proven it themselves. You need this encouragement when trying to create a better life for yourself.
People who you admire are going to give you much better answers to your questions than just anyone. They are going to give you answers that are in alignment with your morals, values, and goals, The answers YOU need to hear.
Make a list of the five people that you admire most. Write down 3 traits that you like most about each person. This list will actually tell you a lot about the type of person you long to become. It will also give you a list of mentors that you can use in your time of need.
What’s great about the internet age is that you don’t have to look to your neighbor for advice anymore. There’s a ton of people out there who have a platform, and are sharing some kind of positive, encouraging message. Find some people that inspire you and follow them, Ask questions. Engage in the discussion within their communities.
If you’ve been hanging around a negative crowd that holds you back, finding a large tribe of encouraging, inspiring, like-minded people almost feels like discovering aliens.
Here’s a list of a few online guys and girls that I find inspiring:
* Brendon Burchard
* Pat Flynn
* John Lee Dumas
* Marie Forleo
* Tim Ferriss
* Joe Rogan
* Brian Clark
* Yaro Starak
* Ramit Sethi
* Seth Godin
* Darren Hardy
* Tony Robbins
Who do you look to for inspiration?